Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
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