my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
