North Korea, Best Korea!
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
