just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize