It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
