I wannas sexs uuuuu
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
tell me about the fingering
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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