Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
