I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Randomize
