Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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