Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Randomize
