i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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