I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
i think i have herpe
just one?
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
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