laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
