If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
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