apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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