I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
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