Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(313): View more from Michigan

Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods

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(313): Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods http://tfl.nu/gefu

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(973): View more from New Jersey

just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.

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(973): just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house. http://tfl.nu/l9um

Replies (29) Good night (804) Bad night (3774)
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(248): View more from Michigan

new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.

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(248): new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home. http://tfl.nu/dmz8

Replies (49) Good night (5449) Bad night (2310)
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(919): View more from North Carolina

I spit up blood this morning

(206): View more from Washington

That's vegas.

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(919): I spit up blood this morning (206): That's vegas. http://tfl.nu/44z7

Replies (8) Good night (3904) Bad night (1616)
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(612): View more from Minnesota

he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...

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(612): he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it... http://tfl.nu/39p0

Replies (20) Good night (1219) Bad night (7015)
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(918): View more from Oklahoma

I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left

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(918): I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left http://tfl.nu/o2bv

Replies (1) Good night (2028) Bad night (983)
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(647): View more from Ontario

Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.

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(647): Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine. http://tfl.nu/8bqc

Replies (7) Good night (932) Bad night (2165)
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(715): View more from Wisconsin

yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon

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(715): yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon http://tfl.nu/62g9

Replies (7) Good night (687) Bad night (1391)
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(416): View more from Toronto

Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear

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(416): Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear http://tfl.nu/hv34

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(774): View more from Massachusetts

Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap

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(774): Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap http://tfl.nu/vchr

Replies (3) Good night (1309) Bad night (482)
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(330): View more from Ohio

I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement

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(330): I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement http://tfl.nu/yzu8

Replies (1) Good night (568) Bad night (929)
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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.

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(832): You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life. http://tfl.nu/rg4t

Replies (3) Good night (1226) Bad night (605)
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(612): View more from Minnesota

So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age

(612): View more from Minnesota

Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity

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(612): So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age (612): Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity http://tfl.nu/l9mx

Replies (6) Good night (977) Bad night (569)
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(203): View more from Connecticut

A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back

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(203): A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back http://tfl.nu/hy98

Replies (2) Good night (749) Bad night (425)
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(734): View more from Michigan

Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park

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(734): Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park http://tfl.nu/okfi

Replies (0) Good night (376) Bad night (235)

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