would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Weren’t Attracted To
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
23 Gruesome Scientific Facts That Will Make You Squirm
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
I'm too high and old for this...