i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
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I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
21 Awkward Ways People Found Out Their Partner Was Into Outrageous Sex Acts
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.