dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
These 25 People Are Obsessed With Pizza
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
16 Sexual Experiences EVERYONE Should Have At Least Once
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.