Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
well you can't waste a boner
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
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Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
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