Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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