You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize