how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
