A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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