Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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