She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
It's blow job season.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
