i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
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