I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Randomize
