All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
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