there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize