i just wanna soil my oats bro
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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