Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
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