tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
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