so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Randomize
