And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Randomize
