You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
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