Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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