My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
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