he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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