Tell her she can't have a vagina
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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