i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Randomize
