If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize