you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
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