I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Randomize
