I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
23 Strangest Things That Gave Dudes A Boner
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
These 21 People Shouldn’t Be Giving Dating Advice
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?