so explain again why im purple
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
These 19 Underage Drinkers Epicly Got By With A Horrible Fake ID
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
These Are The 21 Strangest Sexual Fantasy Confessions
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?