"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
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12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
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You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.