A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
soo... how was my night?
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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