I have demons in me.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Randomize
