High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
