he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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