She is in my trunk
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
