even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Randomize
