i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
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