The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
They have beer where we have blood.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize