their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Randomize
