yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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