I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Randomize