Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Randomize
