New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Randomize
