Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
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