So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
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