And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Someone shattered a urinal.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
