Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
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